Although anger is an intense emotion, it is also a basic human emotion. It can be a response (physical and mental), to a number of provocations. Including, being attacked, threatened, frustrated, humiliated, disrespected or being treated unfairly.
Even our childhood and past experiences can contribute towards the triggers that make us angry.
Many people believe anger to be a negative emotion (and it can be). However, it can be positive if it encourages us to create and implement change.
Nevertheless, for many of us, controlling our anger or a lack of control, can have a significant impact on our wellbeing and our relationships.
Not only do we turn our anger outwards, but we can also turn it inwards. It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Turning your anger inwards and internalising it can affect your mental health.
Struggling to control your anger is very stressful. This in turn can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and can even lead to destructive addictions.
However, like any other emotion, you can control your temper. It does not mean that you have to suppress your feelings. You can control your anger by:
Identifying and eliminating the triggers: Investigate what makes you lose your temper. List the triggers and then work towards eliminating them from your life. This may even involve having to make drastic decisions about our friends and partners. Recognise your anger signs and try to remove yourself from the situation.
Just breathe: When you start to feel tense and angry, try to isolate yourself for ten minutes and focus on breathing. Inhale and exhale deeply 3 to 4 times in a row. Breathing exercises can help you relax and lower your heart rate.
Work out: Exercise can bring down your stress levels. It can help to get rid of irritations and anger. Also, the endorphins (hormones) we release when we exercise make us feel good and less likely to feel angry.
Be honest with yourself: Try not to suppress your feelings. Express yourself and let your feelings out in a calm, measured and constructive way. It helps if you can share your feelings with a trusted friend.
It is important that you seek professional help if anger is having a long term negative impact on your life and relationships.
Control your anger, before it controls you.
Stay focused and stay blessed.