Multi-billionaire Warren Buffett once said ‘the difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything’. Interesting words.
Nevertheless, do you sometimes find it difficult to say no to people? Do you find that people treat you like a doormat? Do people tell you that they find you aggressive? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then maybe I can help.
Being assertive is an essential communication skill that should not be confused with aggression. It is about respecting yourself and others. Standing up for your rights without violating the rights of others.
When you are assertive, you can freely express your feelings and opinions, set your own priorities and say no without feeling guilty.
Most of us are afraid to be assertive because we have difficulty expressing our feelings, low confidence or self-esteem, we’re concerned about hurting other people’s feelings or we believe that people may not like us for standing up for ourselves. Many of us believe that other people’s needs or feeling are more important than our own. However, being assertive is like an antidote to fear.
Yes, I know, it sounds like a difficult balancing act, but the good news is that like most skills, assertiveness can be learnt.
You can become more assertive by:
- Being polite but firm when you are expressing yourself and your needs. Think about what is best for you for a change.
- Learning how to say no. You are not being selfish and you can’t always be a people-pleaser.
- You will need to try out some of your responses and actions before you deploy them.
Why not try my simple tips. What do you have to lose?
Stay focused. Stay blessed.