I don’t need a man…

“All black man is good for is clocking gyal, playing gyal and a ride di bicycle.” said Lela rubbing her pregnant stomach while murdering plantain, eggs and toast courtesy Mr Steele Solo.

Knight returned, “So is that how you got ya big belly then?”

The Six cracked up laughing; they were enjoying their usual end of the month Sunday brunch together over at Steele’s luxury apartment in the city centre of Leeds.

While adding more plantain to his already over filled plate, Steele continued, “That is nonsense Lela, we black mans are not all like that.”

Hmmm retorted Lela as she continued to wax off her food, “And how many baby mothers and pickney do you have?”

Nia who was sat next to Steele at his dinning table pattered his hand signalling for him to keep his cool and ignore her.

“But seriously what are the mans actually good for?” Sasha asked.

Helping himself to another glass of mango smoothie Knight answered, “You know what we man are good for and you know yuh nuh get dat from anywhere else.”

The Six’s mans all brucked out into laughter.

“Whatever.” Came back Sasha, “We can get some Triple AAA batteries and sort that out…We no need no man fi dat!”

The Six’s women erupted into their own chorus of laughter.

Benjamin who was concentrating on perfectly pouring his beloved Jamaican hot pepper sauce over his food said, “You empresses are always bashing us black mans.”

Knight fought back saying, “Anyway what about the slack gyal dem who nuh can cook, clean or look after dem man.”

Lela paused from pigging out and said, “Ooh so that’s what it’s about a slave and not a partnership…In fact what’s wrong with your hands?”

Getting a dig in back at Lela, with a mouth full of African cuisine, Steele said, “Who made breakfast this morning?”

“That’s why I don’t need a man.” Groaned Sasha as she sipped on her black coffee,
“I’ve not got time to be stressing up over them pressing up on some next gyal or vexing up myself over man who nuh have dem act together.”

“I’m feeling you, my dutty ex-husband Mr Blake Brown was always clocking next woman and playing around and I was the one carrying him.” Nia said heatedly.

Finally giving her mouth a rest from eating Lela added, “The mans are just put on earth to destroy women, look at me, big belly pregnant to a sexually confused black man…Chor-man, I don’t need a man.”

“Neither do I.” said Nia while collecting some of The Six’s empty plates.

“Why do you women say that?” Benjamin said irritatingly, “You women say you don’t need a man but I know you do…Because we mans most definitely need a woman.”
TNT Speakers Sam Sutton

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